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Friday, November 9th, 2007
9:45 am

piers_styx

 Saying men should have no say in abortion is like saying we shouldn't have tried to stop Hitler and The Holocaust since we weren't Jewish. When you see something fundamentally wrong being promoted anyone with any courage, honor, and love for human life must take a stand against it. To not do so would make you less than human at heart yourself. The fundamental problem in this ocuntry is not how much money we throw at single mothers and weithe rthey can get by or not. They can if they are willing to WORK. I know that from personal experience. My mother raised me and my sister on her own. She did it by actually working hard for  her children. Not whining about how her life used to be. 

The fundamental issue is the lack of respect for life here and in Europe. And if a person can find solace in their Testament and find courage to find for a good cause from it, than bravo. What I am tired of is self-righteous, holier-that-thou, stuck up scientist wannabes thinking they are better than religious people because what they have to say comes from some textbook. Science has proven less perfect than religion has so far. So let them choose what they choose and respect it. What I think is pathetic is someone who has no respect for those around them or their most sacred of beliefs.

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Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
8:47 pm

piers_styx



































































































































































































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Thursday, November 27th, 2003
4:53 pm - To My Closest Friends....

piers_styx
I am so thankful for all of y'all.

Scotty: Thanks for being there man. You and your sense of humor can make me feel good when I am so depressed. Thank you for listen to my whineing and problems man. Its good to know someone cares. Youa nd I can act like idiots together,yet me completely serious the next minute.

Ryan: You are a great person dude. Thanks for being there to help man. And for buying me food all the darn time. You are such a good person. Thanks for listening to my problems and caring. its always fun hanging with ya.

Emilee: Thanks for your smile. And your laugh. And for having a caring ear that I can talk to when no one else will listen.

I love all of you. You are my brothers and my sister. (which makes it weird with teh Ryan/Emilee relationship) I am so thankful for you guys and gal.

I miss not hanging with you guys as much as I used to. Take care of yourselves. I'll talk to you soon my friends, my family.

Ever Thankful
Robert

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Monday, August 18th, 2003
2:10 am - Fear And Loathing.....

piers_styx
An outlet and view into my soul.....

So i have been struggleing alot here as of late. With my sexual desires. Is that normal? I suppose. It is just hard for me. I have always had control over this part of myself. Now I am danceing around the edges of right and wrong. Near the line, and in someinstances I have gone over the line. Something I should not do. I have little control now for these things.When I find weaknesses like this I try to purge myself of them. I can't do that withthis one. Maybe that is because sexual passion, and desire, and lust, are so ingrained into each of us that it is literlally a part of us. It is hard for me to accept this in one way. In another way it makes perfect sense, you know. It isn't that these feelings and desires are in nature evil, it is just the timing of the actions and such, although some will always remain wrong, I do believe. When you are married, well that is one thing, when single, that is wrong. Or to me it is. I am just a hypocrite though because I am fallling to the same problems I condemn. It is a long hard fall from Grace that this can lead to.And it seems to be the biggest problem I have and the biggest struggle face. I try once more to resist all those things that come to lay me by the wayside. I am shameful and disgusted with myself. I loathe it, I loathe myself. God help me.

Also, have any of you thought of loseing the one you love? Worse, have any of you been sure you will? I know I will. I want Emily and i to be together forever. But we cannot. The time is coming and looms in the future that she and I must part ways for the rest of our lives. Why? I cannot marry her. I cannot go to the House of The Lord, The Temple, and have a Temple Marriage with her. I can not be sealed with her for Time and all Eternity. She has said she will be Lutheran all her life. I will not raise my family and children to anything less than the truth and fullness of the gospel. I will not deny them the saving ordinaces of the Church. This is simple fact. So for my future children I cannot marry her. Do you know what torture it is to know that you are united with the one you love in all things except Faith? That this will tear you asunder, rip you away from one another? It is horrible and cruel. I pray it otherwise, but face the future with grim possibility. She is left to choose on her own, God will not force her.To choose anything less than conversion is to lose us. That is something that makes me fear and tremble. It is a worm eating away at my soul to know she and I will not ultimately be together. Still I will be with her as long as possible. I love her. More than anything upon this Earth. But what will tear us apart is greater than this Earth. It is this way. "I come to a fork in the road...." says Robert Frost. maybe she will, like him"choose the one less taken, and that has made all the differance." I hope for the best, prepare for the worse, and surrender this to God. His will be done. This is Hell. Do you know what it is like?I WILL LOSE HER!!!! Damn it I wish I could cry....


If Not for Love....
Robert

current mood: Fear And Loatheing

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Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
9:21 am - You Really Want Something To Define You....

piers_styx
Alright then Scotty....You asked to be defineable.

*Scotty=Some simple aspects of him is that he is frank with people and tends to act true to his natue. He holds strong to the virues close to his heart and is bound by his philosophy about himself and his life. And yes....he is a nice guy. :^)

Face it.... I am not telling you anything you don't already know.

Carpe Diem
Robert

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
9:20 am - A responce that I thought should be an entry also....

piers_styx
Ryan, you did make some really good points. But you must also remember that everyone eventually conforms in some way. Even you Ryan. Wiether they done a trenchcoat or sag their pants to their ankles. They can't help it. It is a part of human nature to want companionship. So they end up fitting in a little bit. Or they never change what they want, they simply get it and find that they resemble other people. For instance Ryan, consider me. For many years I wanted a trenchcoat. But icould never afford one because I am broke. No money whatsoever to spare on such things. Now I finally have one because I worked out a deal and got the money to buy one. Well lo and behold there are at least ten other people I know who wear trenchcoats. My question is so what? Does that really matter? I look like them. Again I ask so what? Indiviuality does not rely on what is on the outside. You see even if you make the effort to look or act different you fit into a cliq. Those who actively try to exspress their so called indivuality. The unconformists if you will. These people delude themselves with false notions of indviuality. They believe they indivuality can actually be exspressed on the outside. that is why you have ounks with yard long mohawks and chicks whose pants barely stay on them because they wear them around their buttcheeks. Indivuality is of the mind and soul. Some of the most hardcore rappers have more indivality in their pinkies then the most oddest person you past on the streets have in their entire bodies. So tryng to even establish this sort of thing is pointless.

And you know what, that whole thing that I just wrote, what you entry is about, it all a load of CRAP. The fog on peoples minds....That is a pathetic attempt tp say I am an indiviual because I see more than the big picture than those around me, I know more. Conformity is a load of crap. Or maybe it is everything. Everyone fits into a group Ryan. It isn not that hard to do to but someone in a goup and label them something. You see Ryan, everyone is ultimately shallow in sone part of the pool that is their minds. And if you refuse to associate and be friends with them, well you have just put yourself in the ultimate group of comformists. Those who think they are to damn good for everyone else. And believe me Ryan, they are the ultimate groups pof so-called sellouts that have ever lived. Because they blind themsleves to who and what they are. All people are falliable Ryan, and all want to feel like they are loved, or at least liked. Funny thing is, is that all fall into this group in some way. Even the rebels against society is a follower of this group.

Ultimately it all comes down to this. WE ALL FIT INTO A GROUP. No matter how much it may piss you off to hear it, it is none the less true. You must really hate yourself Ryan, for even you fit into a group. Selling out is a load of crap that someone invented to make themselves feel good about themselves. Trying to be an indiviual, trying to philosophize on how cliqish those who say they are indivuals, puts you into a group. To say otherwise makes you the ultimate hypocrite. The one who denys what he is, while condemning everyone else for doing the same thing he does. So really if you want to be diapponted at someone, be diappointed at yourself for not seeing human nature and condmening yourself. And remember, even Pilate stood condemned in the end, he just escpae what society thought.

Trying to be an indivual makes you the same as millions of other people. Condemning those who fall into that snare fits you into a cliq of millions of people. Just look you know all of them already. You, I, Doug, Casey, Jason, Justin, etc.etc. You fit into that cliq of those who condemn those who end up fitting in weither they know it or not. You cvan not try to be an indiviual. You must simply be who you are, with no concious thought to trying to be.

To be an indiviual, you must simply be.

-Robert

current mood: calm

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Saturday, February 8th, 2003
4:21 pm - A Short Poem....

piers_styx
Dance In The Darkness
For A Bit Of Gold
So I Can Take You
Across The River
To A Hell Untold

Strengthen Your Bands
Bring Down The Heirarchy
Slip Through the Defenses
And Break The Walls Down!!!!

-Robert 2/08/03

current mood: calm

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Tuesday, January 7th, 2003
2:55 pm - Wow

midnight_magic
Its been ages since anybody has written in here. We should use it more often. What's happened to us? We've all grown apart. The four of us used to be so close, and now we hardly see each other (with a few exceptions). I miss it being the four of us. I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Especially my boy, no offense! hehehehehe)

current mood: accomplished

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2:55 pm - Wow

midnight_magic
Its been ages since anybody has written in here. We should use it more often. What's happened to us? We've all grown apart. The four of us used to be so close, and now we hardly see each other (with a few exceptions). I miss it being the four of us. I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: accomplished

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Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
5:09 pm - 2003....

piers_styx
Happy New Years all.

May all that you wish were true, if it be good, come true.

Luv y'all.

Hier Stehe Ich
Robert

current mood: chipper

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Friday, December 27th, 2002
1:17 pm

scotty453
Hey guys! Hope every one is having a good holiday season. The good news is that since Suzanne returned home to stay; I have stopped being the bitter old man that we all have seen recently. I am now back to the same Scotty that we all have come to like.

hazy_shadows: Now you know how I felt when Suzanne went to Sonoma State.

piers_styx: I got your x-mas gift all nice & wrapped for you. Hope you do not already have it.

midnight_magic: Hope you have a good time in Scotland. . . . . *mumbles something about being Scottish & never being there*

Oh yea, do any of you guys know someone named Vinod Wadehra? I keep getting messages from him. . . including pictures of him with midnight_magic & hazy_shadows at Central Park.

current mood: blah

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Sunday, December 1st, 2002
2:31 pm - Hey, Mister Space....

piers_styx
Hey Ryan my man. How was your week with little miss Emilee? Come one man details. Details!!!!

Carpe Diem
Robert

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Monday, October 28th, 2002
9:43 am - Days Of Future Past

piers_styx
Ryan my friend I agree with you. You can not capture what was. That is nothing will ever get you to where you were at the first time you did something. That is the reasons people go to such extremes wth the things. To recapture the begining. Examples:(2)

* Anytime of narcotic. Once your body builds up a tolerance , a person usually starts doing more and more in order to recapture the begining.

*Love. Once you have your heartbroken it is heart to love completely and without fear.(stems from Jusin's comment)

Although I do a relationship can be better the second time around than the first. In relationsips you can overcome that first meeting and go beyond that firt expirence. I believe than many people just get to caught up on the problems in thir lives thugh so they don't accomplish this. It is sort of like a case of not seeing the forest for the trees, or over thinking something. While those problems will be there, a couple can overcome them. I think many people allow the problems in their relationship overcome them, rather than them overcomeing theor problems.

Alright, off that tangent.

Question is if you could change the past, would you? Would change the world and affect those around you? I think many people want to change the past because they don't like who they are. (This does not mean you necessarily.It is simply easier to use "you".) But you don't have to change the past to do this. Rather you simply do something that all people have within their power to do. Change the present. Change what you do like about yourself. As for past situations....All you can simply do is not screw up the same way a second time.

I think ultimately trying to change the past and relive it is pointless and will drive a Man/Woman mad. Think not of the past. Don't live for it. Rather I believe you should live for today and tomorrow and what comes after that. If you are constantly looking behind you, how can see in front of you? And if you are not looking in front of you, you can, and will, make the same mistake twice and three and four times over again.

Let the past lie in its cold chamber. Don't let it haunt you.

Hier Stehe Ich
Robert

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Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
2:39 pm

midnight_magic
Thanks Robert!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: pleased

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Monday, September 30th, 2002
2:22 pm - I found those bloody lyrics, Emilee....

piers_styx
*You may thank me now*


Bowling for Soup
Girl All The Bad Guys Want

8 o'clock, Monday night and I'm waitin'
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me.
Her name is Nona, she's a rocker with a nose ring,
She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means.

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She doesn't notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

She likes the godsmack and I like agent orange
Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She says she'd like to score some reefer and a forty
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She'll never notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

She likes 'em with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Drivin' in a Trans-Am
Does a mullet make a man?

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

There she goes again
With fishnets on, and dreadlocks in her hair
She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!

Now I am watchin' wrestling
Tryin' to be a tough guy
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache
And I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped...moped....moped.....

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.

She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

current mood: crappy

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Sunday, September 22nd, 2002
4:05 pm - To The Horsemen

piers_styx
Cannot stand this hell I feel. Emptiness is filling me. To the point of agony. Growing darkness taking dawn. I was me, but now he's gone

-Robert

current mood: pessimistic

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Tuesday, August 20th, 2002
4:41 pm - Talking.

piers_styx
Ryan, would you wish to talk? Let us get together and talk. Please.

-Robert

current mood: depressed

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Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
4:13 pm - Add on....

piers_styx
Not that you are a bad person if you drink. Understand? You can still be a good person and drink. Of that there is no doubt. I just think that drinking is one of those things that....Well lets just say I am a fan of the late 20's.

-R.W.

current mood: complacent

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Saturday, August 10th, 2002
2:59 pm - Correction on last one.

piers_styx
The sentence about "good" drinkers should read,

" I have never said there was such thing as a good drinker."

-R.W.

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2:32 pm - Standartenfuhrer....

piers_styx
Ryan. I know you believe that I would drop Emily for Emilee in a nanosecond. That is your right. I believe that I would not. And you should know one thing when it comes to me and drinking Ryan. I have said there was such things as a "good" drinker. After my expirence with it, I believe that it does nothing but help destroy a person in a mental sense. There are levels of worry with me and drinking though. For instance I worried more about you drinking than I did, or do now worry, about Emilee drinking. What I did say, and Jason was there if I recall, is that I said I was falling for Emily. Falling hard. Jason said I would end up loving her and I was like whatever. That I believe is the time you are remembering. You are right about Marissa and Sean. There is more to them than meets the eye. Everyone is that way. But when it is talking about Marissa I am not talking about the type of person she is for she is a nice person. I am talking about a develpoing problem she has. I myself sometimes wonder about why I ranting in the ways I do, if it stems from some self-righteous part of me or what. I do thank you fro the views. And as for Scotty, he has always asked me to be completely open and frank with him. And that is what I was doing. I agree he is a damn good person. And that is why I have done as he has asked of me. Been completely honest with him. As he has asked of me. What I said about your mother was way over the line. I dishonor myself with such comments. I am sorry. That is all I can say. For that is all I can think of. But if there is something I could do, I will do it. No matter what it may be. I don't think myself morally superior to you Ryan. My worries for you are of how you are doing and how you will be doing. I look into the future and only the worst case scenerio. May be I am just pessimistic about the future. I don't know. But if I chose my friends on how they could make me feel better about myself, then why am I friends with some of the people I am friends with?

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